Don't Ask Me, Why?
Don't ask me why?
Why this love for Ilahis.
I truly have no answer for you.
Just let me show you a page
As to what it does to me.
A page from my unwritten book
" The Nefes of Ilahis "
Here I am, early in the morning
Sipping a cup of chai, so nice.
Looking out at the garden
I see robins hopping about
Finding morsels of food
Amidst the bushes of the rose.
Everything is still.
A rarity in this town
Where the lord of the winds
Considers this, his playground.
Today I tell myself
No Turkish lessons for me.
So with a quick switch off the CD
To the mind that says " Don't move!"
Stillness in and stillness out.
Am I a part of this photograph?
In time I play that haunting song
In Hicaz, that goes like this
" Ben bir Yakub idim kendim halimde, yar......."
The chorus then going
"Aalaar Yakub aalaar Yusuf"um deyu
Gitti de gelmedi vah yavrum deyu."
The stillness gives way to deep sighs.
The sighs open doors for something deeper.
Before I know what's going on
The palms responding to the call of the eyes.
I catch myself holding back
Those rushing tears of mine.
I realize then that once again
Lifting that sword
Ilahi, its famous name
I allow it to pierce
This heart of mine again and again.
The one stream of melody and words
Now rushing forth
An opening having found in Love's domain.
Oh how can anyone love so much, this pain ?
To that I say, I do, I do.
Don't ask me, why?
June 7 2014, Petaluma